I just returned from trying to go to the market for food since it has been well over a week since I have bought groceries. The pain from having the grommet reinserted into my right ear has finally subsided, but my head is still out of sorts and I still have the Xanax in my system. My head was trying to think and I was adding a Facebook status update and this poem came out. It was kind of long for the update, but I thought it would go nicely here. Enjoy!!
As My World Spins
The world it spins
faster, then faster still
I want to get off
that is my will.
Someone please help
make the spinning stop
I really don’t care
if it makes me drop.
My head is foggy
things are unclear
no wonder I’m alone
and no one comes near
The fog and spinning
they make me feel drunk
then I get tripped
by a smug little punk
The weather front comes
and so does the pain
if a cure is not found
I’ll sure go insane
I still think it right
I’ll not make a show
But if you do see
I’ll look like Van Gogh.
March 8, 2010
© DL Bach
OF ALL THE CRAZY, INANE, FOOLHARDY THINGS TO DO!
You cut off your ear. Are you STUPID? OY! G_d goes to the trouble to put the things on each side of your head and you have to go and remove one of them yourself. You’re a painter, for Pete’s sake, not a surgeon. I can understand your reasons for wanting to remove your ear. The noise inside can really drive you nuts. You can’t hear well out of it. 
In fact, I have thought of lobbing off my own ear. The operative word being, thought. However, I need both of my ears to hold up my glasses. So again, tell me how can you be so imprudent? For the life of me, I just can’t imagine what must have actually been going through your mind to cause you to take such drastic measures.
I guess I only have one legitimate question for you:
Can you remove mine for me?
Categories: My Story, Our Story, Their Story Tags: coping, DL Bach, ears, hearing, illness, inner-ear, Meniere's Disease, sound, tinnitus, van Gogh
I chose this name for my blog (well, it was one of my brainstorms that Colette really liked and we went with it) because anyone who has or knows someone who has Meniere’s Disease knows intimately well that your world is like a spinning top.
I wrote a poem and an essay a couple years ago about my spinning world. When attending amusement parks, carnivals and fairs I always wanted to get on the rides that would spin. I loved the carousel and the TN Twister. If it spun I would ride it. I would be caught quite often, in spare moments, spinning around in my office chair at work. My favorite holiday game is Dreidels. I always liked to watch them spin around. Then one fateful day in the autumn of 2004 I started to spin.
Seeing the world spinning around when you are not on an amusement park ride nor intoxicated can be quite scary. Making things worse is the hearing loss and constant tinnitus that all but drives you mad. You sit and wonder what you have done wrong or could have done differently to prevent this monster from invading your life. Then there are the moments that you contemplate doing as van Gogh and cutting off the offensive anatomy realizing that you will no longer have ears to hold up your glasses and you let the feeling pass.
What are your thoughts and feelings? How do you cope? What is it that keeps you from going utterly and completely mad?
Categories: My Story, Our Story Tags: amusement park, carousel, coping, DL Bach, ears, illness, Meniere's Disease, ride, spinning, van Gogh, vestibular
