Curve Balls And Change Ups
I was looking at the posts on Facebook this morning and one of my contacts posted that she would accomplish all on her To Do list today, unless someone threw her a curve ball. I replied that my life is nothing but curve balls and change ups. Those who know me, know my love for baseball. Those who have known me for any length of time know that I used to play center-left field on a softball team. This post this morning really struck me. Since I have been one of the “lucky” ones to have Meniere’s Disease, I have always equated it with roller coasters (I really hate roller coasters). Today I thought for a moment and this was quite a chore since I woke up with my head and ears still driving me crazy.
Since November 2004, I have been on a wild ride. I was invaded by a deceitful and utterly spiteful dragon. Last week I was on the phone with the attorney’s office as my advocate helped me fill out the forms for me to get SSDI. A lot of the questions related to how my life has changed since the invasion. As I tried to focus (hard to do since I hadn’t eaten and my ears were going nuts) and answer the questions the best I could, I knew my life has changed, but saying it to someone else to make it official for the records just made it even more real. Chronic illnesses have a way of changing everything about your life and make things even more difficult. From walking to brushing my teeth, everything has changed. I used to be able to walk, chew gum, juggle and carry a conversation at the same time. I can no longer chew gum and have to stop walking to really carry a conversation. Juggling, well I struggle just juggling day-to-day living.
Early November 2004, I was beaned in the head by a fastball called Galar Meniere’s. Now everyday I dodge wild balls while trying to get even a base hit off of the curve balls and change ups that are thrown at me by this dragon. I still look at it as a roller coaster ride, but the day in and day out of this is kind of like a baseball game. So far he is winning, but I will play the game through and perhaps one day there will be a home run for all of us when they announce that they can finally answer all the questions that have been around since Prosper Meniere first began researching this disease in the mid 1800′s after it had been plaguing people since at least the 13th century.
Hi my name is Christina I live in Calgary, Ab Canada. I was diagnosed with Meniere’s August 2009. But that was after i fell at work in Jan ’09, got a severe concussion. No Work mans comp i worked for a charity. Then it was post concussion syndrome, then it was this and that you get right? Sick leave ran out. EI ran out. Lost job because i was no longer able to do it. In the midst of this i fell in love. Today is our one year but im staying my moms because my now fiance is so overwhelmed with me being sick that he has asked for a one month break. He has no sympathy. He always says suck it up the world doesnt owe you anything. How do i suck it up when my ears hurt, the ringing, the nausia, the dizzyness. I get up i fall down. Today i can barely hear out of my right ear and i think im getting a cold or maybe its just a symptom i dont know. He says hes overwhelmed. He says he just doesnt have it in him to care about everything. What about me! huh? i feel trapped i feel out of control. I cant work. i cant go to the gym. I cant stand up with my baby niece because everyones worried i might get dizzy and fall down. I hate this, How i am i just suppose to suck it up and carry on all i want to do is cry in my bed. Nobody in my life gets its. I read your blog and you get it. You do. Im angry too. I want my life back. I dont want to feel like this anymore. Im on SERC but what its done is made the attacks only last 20 minutes or so when they were lasting hours which is one good thing i can tie up my shoes and pick up my purse again. but now the fluctuating hearing loss is whats getting me and the ringing well everything i guess. It feels like i take one step forward and two steps back. You helped! at least someone else gets it. I will keep reading your blog i like to talk to you even if its just email. I think itll help. Thank-you Everheardofvertigo. i like that its from a song. Christina