It is seen all too well the bullying in schools.  When it happens in homes it is labeled abuse and the law will step in IF the victims dare to speak up.  In the work place it bears a more subtle hand.  Then you have governments who go into other countries and strong arm the opposing government and bully them into submission.  Governments also bully their citizens with brash laws meant to fortify the leaders and leave the general population in ruin.

In January, I wrote a poem called Bullied.  I took from my own life as well as things I see around me and on the news to write this piece.  I must say it was a difficult piece to write and felt a great relief when it was finished.  

This type of behavior in any form and at any level is appalling and immoral.  But, there is something that is just as bad, if not worse.  Even though it is so prominent, and known, bullying remains a boil festering within the world.  Not just because there are those who will always think they deserve to do harm in some form to other people.  It is also allowed to continue because the cowards looking on do nothing.

As a child I would wear bruises and whelps from beatings and others would see these, but remain silent.  In school, when kids would bully me, there would be those who would just stand there and watch, doing nothing.  Years ago a man I knew in junior high and high school crossed my path at a baseball game.  We sat and chatted for a bit while watching the field.  He looked at me and with sadness in his eyes he said he remembered how some of the other boys would say and do mean things to me.  I remembered he was one of them standing there.  He continued to aver that it always bothered him how they did that.  He said good-bye and returned to his seat.  If it bothered him so much, why didn’t he say anything to anyone who could have helped me?

Perhaps this person didn’t or felt he couldn’t do anything due to his age at the time of the incidents.  However, there are those in workplaces who will stand around the water-cooler listening to co-workers as they say ugly and hateful things about another co-worker.  At the most they may go to a quiet place and secretly phone that person and warn them someone is saying things about them.  You call that person a friend and yet you stand there and allow other people to defame the same one you call friend.  This is not what I call a friend.

Passing cutesy things on Facebook and Twitter may be fun, but what are you really doing to put an end to the bullying in the world?  What are you doing to put an end to the bullying in your own town or neighborhood?

The next time you are in a group where someone you know and perhaps call friend is being besmirched and you are tempted to do nothing, imagine you are watching a small child being brutally beaten.  What would you do?  Would you just go over and tell that child they are being abused?  IF you are a friend, then speak up and say you will NOT stand around and allow small-minded people to speak that way about someone that you endear.   Be a human being and display that you are indeed a friend in the truest sense of the word.

It is the people who stand by that allow bullying and abuse to continue to rule the world.

The Greatest Frontier

Throughout history man has looked for frontiers to conquer.  Stepping into the unknown is both fearful and exciting.  It is near impossible to predict what treasures you will find or even what dangers you will face.  The best we can do is rely on our past experiences to help guide in these endeavors.

Gene Roddenberry, in his television program Star Trek, called space the final frontier.  He dubbed this the last unexplored area for men to conquer.  Perhaps this is true to a point.

For centuries philosophers and psychologists have explored the human mind.  However, there is still so much to explore and learn with such a complexly simple mechanism.

Upon meeting someone for the first time, they might inquire, “Who are you?”  While they know your name from introduction, you, out of habit, repeat your name.  Another question that may be posed upon first meeting is, “Can you tell me about yourself?”  With this we may proceed to declare what job we do for a living, our marital status, offspring, etc.  These are things that identify us just as much as our hair color, eye color and the way we dress.

But, who are you?

We hear tell of those (usually kids in an attempt to keep from going to college or to work) who use their money to “go and find themselves”.  This may seem frivolous to many.  I find it so in the regard that usually all they are doing it romping about exploring life.  How often do they actually “find” themselves?

Many people look to religion as the source of identifying who they are, others their families, education or even hobbies.  These are things that can, once again, identify us, but do they tell us who we really are?

I had always heard that praying is the act of “speaking to god” while meditation is the act of “listening to god”.  I hear so much of people talking about praying, but rarely about meditating.  After getting sick and being mostly confined to my apartment I started searching.  One of the worst things you can do is leave a writer alone with her/his thoughts.  We can get into all sorts of turmoil this way.

I cannot go back to the me I used to be before the illness entered my life.  Believe me, I have tried and I have sought to “find” the me I used to be.  Only now am I realizing this is never to happen.  When I am in a bout of vertigo (which lasts two days) my head conjures up all kinds of things.  Some is good, some not so much and others just plain out in left field.  One thing, however, that is prevalent, is trying to find me.

The first time I went to have a check-up with my current primary physician he stepped back and asked me if I were a singer.  I affirmed this and he went on to state that it was his experience that singers know themselves well, some better than even professional athletes.  True he was speaking of knowing myself physically.  But this is something I have been pondering of late. 

My mind also travels back to  time when my best friend, Sissy, her husband, two other friends of ours and I all went to Kings Dominion for an outing.  Anyone who knows me well enough, knows how much I really hate roller coasters.  Sissy, her husband and our friend Loretta convinced me to get on this new coaster called the Shock Wave.  It is a roller coaster you ride standing up.  Loretta and I were in the car behind Sissy and Al.  I pulled the straps and bar over me and leaned my head back and closed my eyes.  As the ride was ending, Sissy and Loretta were unstrapping themselves even before the ride stopped and shaking me.  They said they thought I was dead as I had turned as white as the tank-top I was wearing.  All I know is I put a death-grip on the bar holding me in and went deep inside myself.

Do I know myself?  Hardly.  I know my name.  I know I am single, never married, no children and I am a fair writer.  I know I have a hideous disease.  I know these things about me that identify me to the outside world, but I don’t know me – yet.  I read things that force me to look inside myself.  When I meditate, I look inside myself and explore those areas that I am afraid to look at or didn’t know exist.

There are times I write things, especially here in my blogberg, that many have told me they cannot comment here or even in Facebook or Twitter because they don’t know what to say.  They explain that I write in a manner that makes them think and causes them to look deeper then they ordinarily would.  These are things that help me explore my greatest frontier.

Space may be quite unexplored by humankind, but the greatest and most final frontier is in exploring ourselves, our own minds.  The Buddhists have a way of spending time with themselves and looking deep and when they come out on the other side, they are more peaceful more at home with who they are.  Their way isn’t the answer for everyone.  We must find who we are on our own and in our own way detached from all other influences.  Get to the heart, the soul, the very core of you.

Francis Bacon once wrote, “It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else and still unknown to himself.”

Take time to explore your greatest frontier.

The other day I received an e-mail from a friend which was a forward.  I receive a lot of these as I am sure y’all do as well.  This e-mail had the subject line of FW: A song some radio stations are banning, “Please Watch”.  I read the e-mail which stated this song was banned by radio stations and President Obama because it is “politically incorrect”.  There was a link to the YouTube post of the Diamond Rio song “Presidents Day”.  The song is an apparent religious/political song.  This is the reason for my opening statements.  I did not forward this e-mail.

Now for more.  I have also received in the past e-mails telling about people who are ill with cancers or children who are missing and asking that you go to a website and give money and then forward the posts along.  These items don’t just come in e-mails from friends, but you get them on Facebook and Twitter as well.  These do not come from unintelligent people.  They come from very caring people who are sympathetic to the plights described within.  The only problem is the messages are not vetted to be proven out.

Having been duped before by strangers tugging on my heartstrings, I prove out things before I follow through with any requests made by the sender of the e-mail or posting.  I have also replied back with my findings.  Having said all of this, you can guess where I am going.

Yes, upon seeing a heading that people are banning a song (poetry set to music), I got my feathers ruffled.  After watching the video of the song, I set it aside.  I have learned it is best to not write when I am ruffled.  After a cooling off period, I got to work.  I began Googling every way I could think of to find legitimate articles regarding this banning.  (As a writer I love researching and as a researcher, I love writing about my finds.)  I could find no information about this so-called banning.  Only more links to the YouTube video. 

There were many comments on the various links with thoughts and feelings about the song in general and the supposed banning of the song.  One comment I read stated that the song was never meant for public airplay.  Since it was recorded and performed at a live venue, this does not seem to be the case.  Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be released to radio stations and Diamond Rio wanted to save it for their fans on an album.  I can only speculate on this matter.

Truth in advertising can mean many things in this day and age.  When e-mails are sent or posts are made to blogs, Twitter and Facebook, there should be truth held within.  I fault those who begin these shams.  Some are attempting to fleece monies from unsuspecting sympathetic souls.  Others are to gain notoriety.  One thing that has resulted from this latest e-mail is gaining more viewings on YouTube. 

My advise to all is to vet out the information you receive regarding such things before you forward the information along.

When the story first hit the wires and came into my living room I hardly gave it consideration.  Was he sexting?  Was his Twitter account hacked?  I didn’t know and didn’t care.

I am not a fan of sexting and yes, I do believe that if you are doing things like this with anyone other than your spouse or significant other than it is cheating.  Any time you take an intimacy that should be reserved for that special relationship and you give it to someone outside that relationship, it is cheating.  This is my opinion and does not reflect any other person or group’s opinions or beliefs.

Mr. Weiner was caught with his pants down, proverbially and literally it seems.  Was what he did in sexting with other women wrong?  Perhaps, but that should be between he and his wife.  For this I do not believe he should resign.

Resignation would seem to be in order however.  When the news first broke of lewd photos appearing on Mr. Weiner’s Twitter account his first report was that someone hacked his account.  After this it was brought forth that these were actual photos of the Congressman and he claimed that either someone Photoshopped his photo or obtained the actual photo from his computer and used it.  More lies?

When women began to emerge claiming that Mr. Weiner had in fact been sexting them, he came clean and admitted to the accusations.

On-line activity is still quite new and the laws haven’t quite caught up so I don’t know that he has broken any laws in what he has done.  Ethically and morally speaking he needs an attorney, so to speak.  This would not have been such a media sensation had he just fessed up and told the truth from the beginning.  At that point he would have just had to contend with his wife and the other women.  Now he has congress seeking his resignation.

If he were my representative in congress I would be calling for his resignation as well.  If he can’t own up to something and has to tell all these lies than I would not be able to trust him to make the best decisions where it counts.

Another old saying comes to mind here, “Liar, liar, pants on fire…”

On Thursday November 5, 2009, a mass shooting took place on an American military base on US soil.  It has been said that this is the worst shooting at an American military installation in history.  While no reports initially coming out of Fort Hood indicating any type of terrorist activity, people began posting on social networks (i.e.: Facebook, Twitter, etc.) that the shooter was Muslim and indicated it therefore had to be an act of terrorism.

Reports that I watched bespoke Maj. Nidal Malik had had several deployments and was working as a psychiatrist with many individuals returning from deployment with symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  However, even the experts can miss or even supress symptoms of PTSD in themselves.

Ignorance regarding other religions and cultures leads to untoward hatred.  Ignorance regarding mental illness in general and PTSD specifically, leads to fear and ill-fated hatred.  Hence, all roads lead to hatred.

In the 1958 film South Pacific, the song “You Have To Be Taught” was sung by sung by two of the primary leads.  One an American, the other a Frenchman.  they had both fallen in love with someone outside their upbringing.  Trying to justify not following their hearts regarding love, the American and the American the Frenchman fell in love with discussed the hatred they were taught to have toward all those who are different from themselves and their American families.

I was raised more or less sheltered from the hatred in the outside world.  However, I knew that my family was prejudiced against blacks and anyone not of the ‘christian’ faith.  I was not overtly subjected to acts of hatred or even slurs, but I knew.  I even found myself as an adult having similar ideation.

Two years ago I really began to look at myself deeper.  I found myself calling people friend that had I known certain things about them before, I would not have gotten any closer to them than as an acquaintance.  The internet allowed me to get to know people from different religions, cultures and political affiliations without the bias of knowing these things.  I found that I get to know and enjoy people who are differnt from me.

The old cliche’ “nothing new under the sun” is so accurate it’s scary.  Small minded people have been stiring up fear and hatred in otherwise intelligent people since the beginning of time.  The problem today is the ease of information flowing out for our education.  In other words, there is NO excuse for ignorant fear and hatred in societies today.  I wonder if Maj. Malik’s name were Johnson or Greene, would people have been so fast to holler “terrorist”?  Today, education is bliss  ~~  ignorance is remiss.

This post was actually written 11/6/09, however, due to computer issues I was unable to publish it till now.