DeeEl's Mo Chroí Scríofa

The Human Factor

A mammal is what we are born.  A human being is what we become.  I have always tried to treat everyone as human beings.  There have been many times that those I saw as human turned out to be animals and quite wild.  I do not turn around and treat those folks as animals, they are after all still of the human variety even if they are cruel to others.

There are those who will watch a movie and see a dog get injured in the film and cry.  However, those same people will see a human being beaten and either walk on by or take out their cellphones and video the incident to put on YouTube later.  The evolution of humanity.

Last week I made a trip to the library.  I have been doing that more and more to check out audio/video items to amuse myself.  I had a bout of Meniere’s  the beginning of the week and was still pretty shaky so I was taking things even slower going in.  A woman in her mid to late sixties approached me and asked if she could assist me.  I stopped to chat with her and thanked her for her kindness.  I told her I just had to take things very slow.  We chatted for a while and I gave her one of my business cards which labels me a freelance writer.  She said she has no phone, no e-mail, no nothing and that she was a nothing.  She felt lonely and cast out.  She had had a hip replacement and it didn’t take so it had to be redone.  She has her dogs, but her 20-something son thinks she is crazy and doesn’t come around often.

I leaned against the wall of the library and looked at her when she said she was ‘nothing’.  I said that isn’t true, you are a human being and that is more important than anything else.

Being a human being, I mean a real human being where you care about your fellow humans is far more important than any job or position that anyone could have.  If you do not have compassion and empathy for others than you can’t be truly successful at anything else.  We must accept others as they are especially when they are so unlike us.  It is in doing this that we prove we can rise above the so-called human factor and become truly exceptional human beings.

The Human Touch

Today, for the first time in more than a month I felt the human touch.  I actually initiated the first touch by extending my hand to bid farewell to a nice lady I was chatting with about my passions of history and writing.  we were both at the senior center waiting to speak with the tax people to have our taxes prepared.  My name was called and I prepared to stand and meet the preparer.  I found myself extending my hand to thank the lady for chatting with me.  It was kind of slow motion.  I remember pausing and wondering why I was doing this.  What would it be like to feel another human’s touch after all this time.  I know I have gone longer than a month.  I think the longest I have gone without feeling the touch of another human is close to three months.  As this lady’s hand slipped into mine, it felt odd and at the same time pleasant.

Growing up I dreaded the human touch.  The main touches I received were painful and wrong.  I guess when you get the wrong kind of touches and then the right kind and then have people not wanting to touch you at all, it can be quite confusing.  I withdrew my hand and as I was approaching my tax preparer Galar decided to growl a bit and the elderly gentleman grabbed my arm to steady me.  It felt odd again, but Galar’s growls were more intense than the gentleman’s hand holding my arm.  I got lost in the tax preparation process and didn’t give it much thought beyond until I left the center and slid into my car.  Most people don’t ponder the touch of others.  Being a writer is a solitary life.  Having a chronic illness brings about even more solitude.  Sometimes I  believe I should be used to this, but then I feel the pain of being so disconnected.

There are different kinds of touches.  Here I only look at the kinds appropriate for public viewing.  You have the intimate touch of a hug and kiss from a friend in greeting.  Then on the opposite end of the spectrum is the sterile touch as when my doctor examines my ears or someone reaches out to help steady me when I am off balance.  Then you have the middle ground, a handshake in greeting or farewell.  Usually I am only receiving the sterile touches and have gotten to where I don’t even feel it unless the doctor is performing a procedure.  Perhaps once a year I am lucky enough to receive the intimate touch as someone will feel the need to take pity and come visit me.  Those I have come to not expect at all in my life and when they do occur, I am usually so overwhelmed that I cry.  It is the touches in the middle that make me stop and wonder.  Enjoy those you care about and make sure they know how much by at the very least, embracing them when you see them.  Don’t let them form the idea that touching is wrong or has to hurt.