It seems to me that the further down the road we go in time, the lazier we become, especially in the United States.  It has been a while since I have been to a foreign country, but thanks to the wonderful world wide web, I have many friends and acquaintances around the world.  Through them I see other views and customs.

In the past few years in Second Life, I have seen people’s names diminishing rapidly.  At one time people seemed to address another person by the first three letters of their first name.  Now, they just address them by their first initial.

My nom de plume is DL Bach.  I am also known by other names.  My real first name is Debbie.  Sam is a nickname given to me by others I worked with because there were three women named Debbie in our group of ten.  In Second Life I am Parker.  A friend in Paris did a play on my pen name and calls me DeeEl.  I like this.

Debbie is a shortened version of my real name Deborah.  If you really don’t like me and want me out of your life, just call me Deborah.  I will be gone faster than you can repeat it.

There is one person I know in Second Life who has given to call me JJ.  Now, my last name in Second Life begins with J, but for the life of me I cannot understand why this person calls me JJ even though I have corrected them several times.  I generally use a person’s full first name in Second Life to address them, unless they ask me specifically not to.

There are times when nicknames (usually shortened versions of a given name) are used to be endearing.  For instance, my Second Life name is Parker and most people call me Parky.  This isn’t much shorter, but it is fun and playful.  Then there are the nicknames that have nothing to do with a person’s name at all, such as my nickname of Sam or when people call a loved one Boo or Woobie, etc.

A while back (when I used to work), I was screening a movie or something and two men were discussing nicknames.  One was Russian and the other American.  The American asked the Russian if names didn’t work the same way in Russia being that you shorten them when speaking to or about a loved one.  The Russian replied that occasionally it does work that way, but usually the nicknames are longer for someone you love.  His rationale was that when you are saying the name of someone you love, you never want it to end.  This is where I am.

In real life when I am introduced to someone, the manner of introduction will usually dictate how I address the person.  Until I am invited otherwise, I will usually address them as Mr./Ms. So-and-so.  I hold to the old way of respecting people.  I do not infer intimacy, I wait to be invited in.  When I worked in the prison, my first day of training, I met the head of the prison and when he introduced himself and we were chatting he asked me to call him by his first name.  My manager, later, tried to write me up for insubordination for calling the director by his first name.  The director chastised the manager instead.

When you are invited to the inner intimacy of speaking on first name basis, it is a trust that has been earned, not invaded.  This is a matter of respect.  So if you think so little of me and the speaking of my name repulses you so much that you reduce me to a mere letter of the alphabet, then I must reconsider the intimacy I have allowed you to share.

It is seen all too well the bullying in schools.  When it happens in homes it is labeled abuse and the law will step in IF the victims dare to speak up.  In the work place it bears a more subtle hand.  Then you have governments who go into other countries and strong arm the opposing government and bully them into submission.  Governments also bully their citizens with brash laws meant to fortify the leaders and leave the general population in ruin.

In January, I wrote a poem called Bullied.  I took from my own life as well as things I see around me and on the news to write this piece.  I must say it was a difficult piece to write and felt a great relief when it was finished.  

This type of behavior in any form and at any level is appalling and immoral.  But, there is something that is just as bad, if not worse.  Even though it is so prominent, and known, bullying remains a boil festering within the world.  Not just because there are those who will always think they deserve to do harm in some form to other people.  It is also allowed to continue because the cowards looking on do nothing.

As a child I would wear bruises and whelps from beatings and others would see these, but remain silent.  In school, when kids would bully me, there would be those who would just stand there and watch, doing nothing.  Years ago a man I knew in junior high and high school crossed my path at a baseball game.  We sat and chatted for a bit while watching the field.  He looked at me and with sadness in his eyes he said he remembered how some of the other boys would say and do mean things to me.  I remembered he was one of them standing there.  He continued to aver that it always bothered him how they did that.  He said good-bye and returned to his seat.  If it bothered him so much, why didn’t he say anything to anyone who could have helped me?

Perhaps this person didn’t or felt he couldn’t do anything due to his age at the time of the incidents.  However, there are those in workplaces who will stand around the water-cooler listening to co-workers as they say ugly and hateful things about another co-worker.  At the most they may go to a quiet place and secretly phone that person and warn them someone is saying things about them.  You call that person a friend and yet you stand there and allow other people to defame the same one you call friend.  This is not what I call a friend.

Passing cutesy things on Facebook and Twitter may be fun, but what are you really doing to put an end to the bullying in the world?  What are you doing to put an end to the bullying in your own town or neighborhood?

The next time you are in a group where someone you know and perhaps call friend is being besmirched and you are tempted to do nothing, imagine you are watching a small child being brutally beaten.  What would you do?  Would you just go over and tell that child they are being abused?  IF you are a friend, then speak up and say you will NOT stand around and allow small-minded people to speak that way about someone that you endear.   Be a human being and display that you are indeed a friend in the truest sense of the word.

It is the people who stand by that allow bullying and abuse to continue to rule the world.

To say that I am prudish or priggish is quite accurate.  I was raised to behave in a modest manner and to believe that certain things should remain private.  I still hold to these things as true today.  I am neither a voyeur nor an exhibitionist.

These days it seems sex is used to sell pretty much everything.  There has been an advertisement on television of late displaying a stick-thin model indulging in a huge hamburger from a certain fast food chain in a seductive manner.  First of all they don’t show you the part where she may take the bite, but spits it out having neither chewed nor swallowed it.  Secondly, this type of advertisement will not induce me to purchase the hamburger the model is not consuming.  It being a female model has no baring on my decision.  You could put a top male model in her place and I would still not be enticed.

When the reality television program Dancing With The Stars first launched I thought it would be really nice to see celebrities learning how to ballroom dance.  However, it has turned into a sex-fest.  Last season was the only season I have watched the show.  I only watched and voted because there was an uproar over Chaz Bono participating.  I did write a post on that http://dlbach.com/deeels/2011/09/02/hatred-unfounded/.  The controversy was over Mr. Bono’s transexuality, yet there is no problem with the females being clad very skimpily nor the males removing their clothing.

A number of years ago I had a knee injury and had to undergo physical therapy.  One of the therapists would always start debates with me regarding movie content.  He found it difficult to believe that a grown woman such as myself would only go to movies rated G, PG or PG-13.  He would argue that sex, violence and foul language were everywhere.  I heartily agreed with this statement.  However, that does not mean that I am either going to go out looking for it or pay my hard-earned money to see it on the screen.

Many people believe that the fewer clothes a person is wearing and the more seductive the pose makes that person sexier.  With this I disagree.  A previous job I had, a certain manager would (as all the managers did) wear suits to work every day.  One weekend morning he came in wearing sweats in order to perform inventory in his area.  A fair amount of his inventory was in the racks across from my office.  I sat there going about my duties, but also watched as he went about his. 

We engaged in idle chit-chat as we always did.  At one point I stopped what I was doing and just looked at him.  I told him I wanted to tell him something, but asked him not to take it the wrong way.  He knew me well enough to know that what ever I was about to say would be purely innocent and he said I should proceed.  I went on to tell him that he was a very sexy man.  He blushed a deep shade of red and kind of got choked up.  I explained that even though he was wearing sweats and was kind of dusty and dirty from taking inventory, he was still the same as if he were wearing his usual business suite.

Sexiness has nothing to do with what a person is or is not wearing, it has everything to do with attitude.  This gentleman was a handsome man, he felt he was at least a bit attractive, but would never consider himself sexy.  I had never considered him that way before either.  However, after that day we would both blush whenever we would look at each other.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is sex, sexuality and sexiness.  While I may not go around discussing sex and I most assuredly do not write about it in my poetry, short stories or novels, I am still a sexual being.  It is the small minded people who will torment others because of their beliefs and try to get them to behave the way they do.  This is why terms such as prude and priggish are deemed negative just as gay and lesbian are in many groups.  The only thing that is a must is that you are true to who you are.  Trying to be something or someone you are not will only leave you miserable.

There are good and bad elements on both sides of this, as with every story out there.  It is difficult to drawl productive conclusions just relying on what the media presents to us.

The clip of the 911 call does make it appear that Mr. Zimmerman was racial profiling and could have uttered racial slurs making him a bigot.   On the other side, the only photographs of Mr. Martin that are in circulation are outdated and taken when he was younger and smaller. 

Mr. Zimmerman’s supporters say that he shot Mr. Martin in self-defense after Mr. Martin attacked him.  Mr. Martin’s supporters aver that he would never attack anyone unless provoked.

So, what really happened that dark night in February?  I wasn’t there and of the two who were there, one of them is dead and the other isn’t speaking.

I do firmly believe that this tragedy could have been prevented.  It is clear from the 911 call that Mr. Zimmerman advised the operator that he was in pursuit or Mr. Martin, someone he believed to be suspicious.  The 911 operator clearly told Mr. Zimmerman NOT to follow Mr. Martin.  As a member of the neighborhood watch, proper training would instruct persons to call 911 and follow what they are told to do.  Had Mr. Zimmerman obeyed the directive he was given by the operator to break his pursuit, Mr. Martin would be alive today.  However, Mr. Zimmerman took it upon himself to become more of a vigilante and not neighborhood watch.  This type of stalking behavior could have been perceived by Mr. Martin as threatening and felt the need to “defend” himself.

There does not appear to be any malice on anyone’s part in all of this.  However, when a mere citizen takes the law into his own hands as Mr. Zimmerman did, there will be severe repercussions.  In this case, it was the death of a young man just beginning his life who only wanted to go out and get some snacks to enjoy while watching a game.  For this, there needs to be justice.  Is it a racial crime, this is for the judicial courts to decide, not the court of public opinion.  Either way, Mr. Zimmerman took a human life and it was due to his own ignorance and therefore, he needs to be tried in a court of law.

The Greatest Frontier

Throughout history man has looked for frontiers to conquer.  Stepping into the unknown is both fearful and exciting.  It is near impossible to predict what treasures you will find or even what dangers you will face.  The best we can do is rely on our past experiences to help guide in these endeavors.

Gene Roddenberry, in his television program Star Trek, called space the final frontier.  He dubbed this the last unexplored area for men to conquer.  Perhaps this is true to a point.

For centuries philosophers and psychologists have explored the human mind.  However, there is still so much to explore and learn with such a complexly simple mechanism.

Upon meeting someone for the first time, they might inquire, “Who are you?”  While they know your name from introduction, you, out of habit, repeat your name.  Another question that may be posed upon first meeting is, “Can you tell me about yourself?”  With this we may proceed to declare what job we do for a living, our marital status, offspring, etc.  These are things that identify us just as much as our hair color, eye color and the way we dress.

But, who are you?

We hear tell of those (usually kids in an attempt to keep from going to college or to work) who use their money to “go and find themselves”.  This may seem frivolous to many.  I find it so in the regard that usually all they are doing it romping about exploring life.  How often do they actually “find” themselves?

Many people look to religion as the source of identifying who they are, others their families, education or even hobbies.  These are things that can, once again, identify us, but do they tell us who we really are?

I had always heard that praying is the act of “speaking to god” while meditation is the act of “listening to god”.  I hear so much of people talking about praying, but rarely about meditating.  After getting sick and being mostly confined to my apartment I started searching.  One of the worst things you can do is leave a writer alone with her/his thoughts.  We can get into all sorts of turmoil this way.

I cannot go back to the me I used to be before the illness entered my life.  Believe me, I have tried and I have sought to “find” the me I used to be.  Only now am I realizing this is never to happen.  When I am in a bout of vertigo (which lasts two days) my head conjures up all kinds of things.  Some is good, some not so much and others just plain out in left field.  One thing, however, that is prevalent, is trying to find me.

The first time I went to have a check-up with my current primary physician he stepped back and asked me if I were a singer.  I affirmed this and he went on to state that it was his experience that singers know themselves well, some better than even professional athletes.  True he was speaking of knowing myself physically.  But this is something I have been pondering of late. 

My mind also travels back to  time when my best friend, Sissy, her husband, two other friends of ours and I all went to Kings Dominion for an outing.  Anyone who knows me well enough, knows how much I really hate roller coasters.  Sissy, her husband and our friend Loretta convinced me to get on this new coaster called the Shock Wave.  It is a roller coaster you ride standing up.  Loretta and I were in the car behind Sissy and Al.  I pulled the straps and bar over me and leaned my head back and closed my eyes.  As the ride was ending, Sissy and Loretta were unstrapping themselves even before the ride stopped and shaking me.  They said they thought I was dead as I had turned as white as the tank-top I was wearing.  All I know is I put a death-grip on the bar holding me in and went deep inside myself.

Do I know myself?  Hardly.  I know my name.  I know I am single, never married, no children and I am a fair writer.  I know I have a hideous disease.  I know these things about me that identify me to the outside world, but I don’t know me – yet.  I read things that force me to look inside myself.  When I meditate, I look inside myself and explore those areas that I am afraid to look at or didn’t know exist.

There are times I write things, especially here in my blogberg, that many have told me they cannot comment here or even in Facebook or Twitter because they don’t know what to say.  They explain that I write in a manner that makes them think and causes them to look deeper then they ordinarily would.  These are things that help me explore my greatest frontier.

Space may be quite unexplored by humankind, but the greatest and most final frontier is in exploring ourselves, our own minds.  The Buddhists have a way of spending time with themselves and looking deep and when they come out on the other side, they are more peaceful more at home with who they are.  Their way isn’t the answer for everyone.  We must find who we are on our own and in our own way detached from all other influences.  Get to the heart, the soul, the very core of you.

Francis Bacon once wrote, “It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else and still unknown to himself.”

Take time to explore your greatest frontier.

After reading the post, I Googled the television program and watched a few clips.  As I am not into reality television, it really wouldn’t be a program I would watch regularly.  However, as it is a reality television show, I found it to be quite enlightening.  People will spend hours watching others humiliate themselves in the various reality television shows that seem to consume the digital air ways these days.  But a show that wants to educate and enlighten the general population is hit with bigotry and hatred.

I didn’t stop with just looking at the website for All American Muslim, I also Googled the controversy with Lowe’s.  It seems that not all American’s are bigots like Lowe’s and their new-found supporters for pulling their advertising.  It seems there are many who are now boycotting Lowe’s because of this.

It is true that this is a country with the freedom of choice.  I choose not to hate.  I choose to look at everyone as human beings, until they (as in this case with some who posted their support in a very ugly manner on Lowe’s FB page) prove that they have the mannerisms of wild animals.

The month of December is for many a holy month with the celebration of Chanukah, Ramadan, Kwanza and Christmas.  All of these promote peace and good will toward others.  Apparently not all who keep these holidays believe in what they stand for.

A couple centuries ago some Native Americans went up against the new comers to their land and the hatred of the Native American began.  Some were savages so the settlers decided that ALL were savages.

Decades ago, blacks fought back because of the ill treatment they received due to the fact that their ancestors were brought here as slaves.  They were hated because they were different and fought back.

Today, a handful of people who happen to be Muslim become radical and turn their rage on Americans, therefore Americans hate ALL Muslims.

Hatred, bigotry, prejudice; whatever name you give it, it is a disease worse than the black plague.  An idea is planted and begins to fester and grow until it is full blown and violence ensues.  We must end this or we will not have a future world for those who come after us.

I had intended to write a post today to include my latest piece of writing.  It fits perfectly here.  Many of you know the song by John Lennon War Is Over.  It is only played during this time of year.  I only came to know this song a few years ago and I cry every time I hear it.  This is the biggest mistake of Mr. Lennon (I have blogged this before).  This song needs to be heard year round.

Since I keep Chanukah, many are surprised that I spend hours listening to a supposed Christmas song, but I do.  Tuesday night, trying to get into the Chanukah spirit, I put on some music and forgot I added War Is Over to the mix.

I was resting and listening when the song began to play.  I found myself sitting up and my pen was in my hand with a note pad.  The following words found their way to my page as a re-write of Mr. Lennon’s song.  I do give him credit on this one as well, this is just my version to make it more universal to be heard year-round.

War Is Over (Look To The Future)

Look to the future
and what you have done
one life is over
a new one just begun

Just look to the future
I hope you had fun
with your near ones and dear ones
your old and your young

Here’s to your future
and every New Year
can you make them good ones
without any fear

Here’s to the future
for the weak and the strong
for the rich and the poor ones
the road is very long

Let’s look to the future
for black and for white
for the yellow and red ones
we must end all the fights

Here’s to the future
and every New Year
can you make them good ones
without any fear

Look to the future
what have you done?
One life is over
a new one just begun

Just look to the future
I hope you had fun
with your near ones and dear ones
your old and your young

Here’s to our future
and every New Year
can we make them good ones
without any fear?

War IS over
IF you want it
War IS over
NOW!!!

December 13, 2011

© John Lennon & DL Bach

This morning I was watching Good Morning America and took a breath to sip coffee whilst Robin was interviewing Gayle King regarding the upcoming issue of O Magazine.  This made me think of recent news casts on my local stations and how segregation still exists in the United States.

Hit the Pause button before you snap my head off.

In the recent past here in the south there have been some semi-major issues regarding the flying and wearing of the confederate rebel flag also known as Stars And Bars.  While it is not necessarily displayed as a racial evince, there are those who do take offense with it because of historical connotations.  I can understand this as I have issues with the swastika.  I am not making an attempt to get inside the mind of anyone else and try to figure out why they do the things they do.  I just want to look at blatant segregation that is usually not viewed as such.

When the word segregation is used, most people think about the Civil Rights movement regarding the segregating of blacks and whites.  The word segregation means to separate, usually with regard to race, class or ethnic group.  So where is my mind going?  Walk this way, please…..

There is  new segregation in the United States to go along with the obvious racial segregation I have already alluded to.  I want to bring this up before I move further into the heart of the motivation for this post.  Homosexuality is the new racial issue.  I grew up being told that homosexuality is wrong and I should have nothing to do with anyone who practices this. (Mind you I was also told that I should have nothing to do with anyone who was black other than allowing them to breath the same air I breath)

I have a good number of those I claim as associate, acquaintance and even friend who are homosexual.  I am proud to claim these relationships and know in my heart that they are some of the best human beings I know.  So why is the United States trying to segregate them?

Human beings are human beings.  You have those who are downright wicked and evil and you have those who are everything good and kind and then there are those who reside in the middle.

Back to segregation.

I have noticed, mostly on local news casts, that it seems to be okay for a black reported to cover the occasional “white” story, but only black reporters cover “black” stories.  What’s with this?  Robin Roberts was the one to interview Gayle King.  This is national news coverage.  Is a white reporter incapable of interviewing a black person?  It has become predictable on my local news.  If there is a story about to air regarding a black person, church, etc I am assured that a black reporter will cover it.  However, I rarely see the same black reporters covering local stories about white people, churches, etc.

This is blatant segregation.  The back reporters are just as qualified as the white reports and perhaps more so.  They should be able to cover every story as well. I am not saying this is what happened this morning on GMA as I am sure the story would have been covered just as well had George conducted the interview, it is just that it drew my attention to the more local issue.

Homosexual couples are more and more in the news and how the “church” is trying to keep them from having rights that are afforded to all other couples.  This is a form of segregation.  We are separating these vital people and telling them they are not allowed to exist in this country the way everyone else does.  They have to conform to what we want them to be or they have to leave.  As a country we did this to the Indians and blacks in a major way.

This is also being done to other “minority” groups in the form of bullying.  Living peaceful means we accept all other human being for the sheer reason that they are human beings.  Every person is different and deserves the same respect as everyone else.  Segregation needs to be abolished, not the people that are segregated.  Stop hating and start imagining everyone else as if their insides were on their outside.  Then there are no differences except the heart of the person with their loves.

Those who live in what is known as the “free world” don’t always have an understanding of how others around the world live.  Visiting a third-world country can only give  a brief surface visual of how people live day-to-day.  Things that are taken for granted in many parts of the world are but a dream in these countries.  While many juggle two and tree smart phones there are millions who can’t even afford a land-line that could ultimately save their life.  There are many who sit within the comfort and protection of their locked doors while so many can’t even lock their door to the government who can go in at will and have what they desire.

A young man in Egypt had the notion to use modern technology in a way that no one had ever seen.  He began posting in a social network to gather Egyptians to rally and move in a peaceful demonstration to bring change in their country.  Eighteen days later, Mr. Mubarak resigned after a 30 year reign.   While there were those who took advantage of the movement to loot and wreak havoc, the ones rallying for change remained as peaceful as they could.  There are still many days to come that will be venturing into the unknown for the Egyptian’s, but they are on their way as long as they do not lose focus of why and how this all began.

Since this success there have been other countries following the same route; Libya, Yemen, Iran, and still other Arab countries.  These are not covered by the media as well as the Egyptian rally was covered, but it should by no means be swept under the carpet.  While it seems that many of these rallies are more violent it is difficult to tell by the lack of coverage if the violence is coming from the protesters or the government.

The writing was on the wall as eyes were glued to see the outcome of the Egyptian rallies.  It was only a matter of time before others followed through and began their own demonstrations for decency and dignity.   History is being made in the world as we become spectators within the virtual realm watching and waiting.  The dominoes were set up many years ago and last month a young Egyptian man tipped the first one and brought light onto the darkened stage and now we watch the dominoes fall and land as they will.

No one has the right to berate and cause another person to live in a manner that is less than the same dignity that he would have for himself.

There are those who will watch a movie and see a dog get injured in the film and cry.  However, those same people will see a human being beaten and either walk on by or take out their cellphones and video the incident to put on YouTube later.  The evolution of humanity.

Last week I made a trip to the library.  I have been doing that more and more to check out audio/video items to amuse myself.  I had a bout of Meniere’s  the beginning of the week and was still pretty shaky so I was taking things even slower going in.  A woman in her mid to late sixties approached me and asked if she could assist me.  I stopped to chat with her and thanked her for her kindness.  I told her I just had to take things very slow.  We chatted for a while and I gave her one of my business cards which labels me a freelance writer.  She said she has no phone, no e-mail, no nothing and that she was a nothing.  She felt lonely and cast out.  She had had a hip replacement and it didn’t take so it had to be redone.  She has her dogs, but her 20-something son thinks she is crazy and doesn’t come around often.

I leaned against the wall of the library and looked at her when she said she was ‘nothing’.  I said that isn’t true, you are a human being and that is more important than anything else.

Being a human being, I mean a real human being where you care about your fellow humans is far more important than any job or position that anyone could have.  If you do not have compassion and empathy for others than you can’t be truly successful at anything else.  We must accept others as they are especially when they are so unlike us.  It is in doing this that we prove we can rise above the so-called human factor and become truly exceptional human beings.

My thoughts weren’t just about the eggs as eggs.  I kept thinking how I said that eggs were all the same no matter the color.  This is like people.  No matter the color of your skin, eyes and hair, every human being is the same.  I recall the old movie Tammy And The Bachelor.  During the course of the movie, the uneducated swamp girl, Tammy makes a startling statement about war.  In essence she said that if people would remember that under all the armor and clothing there is nothing but flesh and blood, perhaps there would be few wars.  Oh, the innocence.

Those who have followed my blog for any length of time have already figured where I am going.  My favorite topic to write about in here – PEACE.  Just like those eggs in my refrigerator, people are the same.  We may look different on the outside, but inside we are flesh, blood and bones.  The shell may be different sizes or colors or perhaps shapes slightly off; but inside there is a yolk and the whites.

When we focus on the differences we have there is strife and war.  It will only be when we focus on what we have in common (i.e.: being human beings for one) that we can truly accept others and bring about peace in the world.  Greet people without noticing what is on the outside.  Nearly three years ago, to escape the illness that has invaded my body, I entered Second Life (I have a blog just about that and have mentioned it before).  I began getting to know people where all I could see of them was their avatar representative.  After a while I was getting to know them not as their Second Life persona, but who they are in the real world.  It hit me one day that had I been walking down the road in the real world and passed most of these people, at the most I would have just given them a glance, but we would never have become friends.  I used to think I was not a prejudice kind of person, that I was very accepting.  I learned how wrong I was.  I can now boast that I have friends from all walks of life, skin colors, religions, races, nationalities, etc.  I got to know them as people keeping in mind that there was a human being on the other side of the computer, not just a bunch of pixels.

To the rest of the world I offer this advice – Put your blinders on and meet some eggs.