DeeEl's Mo Chroí Scríofa

Sombody!!

I have barred the door as I feel the mob gathering to charge, armed with clubs and torches.  Words that have been slowly mulling in my mind for years spewed out into an astonishing reality in my dreams last night.  The song that resounded over and over and over in my dream was one that Frank Sinatra made famous, “You’re Nobody, Til Somebody Loves You”.  I am a fan of Ole Blue-eyes, but I must admit, this song has left me confused.  The song implies that you can’t be somebody till someone else loves you, however the end tells you to go and find someone to love.  How does finding someone for you to love cause them to love you and thereby make you a somebody?  This had been my life’s theme for a long time as I didn’t feel as if anyone loved me and therefore I was a nobody.

Not long ago I was watching a crime drama on television.  Before this girl went missing and was ultimately found dead, she reached out to an FBI agent that she remembered due to his kindness towards her.  Alas, the FBI agent, through the entire show, could not remember her.  She had been, after all, a lowly receptionist where he used to work.  In other words, a nobody.  While the agent never remembered her, he did try to change his ways at the end to be more aware and more mindful of those who were seemingly of less importance.

In my dream last night, the part I remember most, an older woman had passed away.  Another woman, who turned out to be her daughter, read off a list of the dead woman’s accomplishments.  I felt impressed by all she had done.  However, the orator stopped abruptly without finishing and blurted out, “In other words, a nobody”.  I snapped my head up and snatched the paper away and reprimanded, “No, she WAS somebody”.  Then, as I began to berate the daughter, I woke up.

What makes one person more valuable than another?

Why should one race, religion or nationality be more vital than any other?

Every person, every human being IS somebody!

Just because one cleans toilets for a living while another lives off his trust-fund, doesn’t make either less important.  Just because one owns many multimillion dollar homes and businesses while another lives on the streets and scrounges for food,  does not make either more of a person.

I once heard a story that Donald Trump was in his limousine when it got a flat tire in a rain storm.  A passer-by changed the tire and Mr. Trump wanted to repay him.  The man left his business card and only asked that Mr. Trump send his wife a dozen roses.  However, the “generous” Mr. Trump sent her dozens of roses and paid off the man’s mortgage.  Whether or not this tale is true, I don’t know.  But I wonder, does Mr. Trump even know anything about the people who clean his toilets everyday?  Or are they faceless nobodies to him?

No, this is not a bash against Mr. Sinatra nor Mr. Trump.  Due to illness I sit in my home pretty much all day, every day.  The only “human” contact I have is on the internet.  People do not drop by nor call just to chat.  To them, I suppose, I am just an unemployed nobody not worthy of the time in their busy day.  But that’s okay.  Think about all the people you encounter every day.  Office workers you hardly glance at as they rush by on their way to the lunchroom.  The receptionist who manages so much for you, you don’t know about.  The person on the street you bump into while trying to talk on your cellphone.  Nobodies to you, but somebody who is just as important as you think you are.

Getting A Job In A Recession = FRUSTRATION

Being out of work for nearly 15 months has given me pause to consider many things.  To start, I hit the rewind button and go back to September ‘08.  The boss came in and let me know what he would be telling all the other employees two hours later (a meeting I couldn’t attend do to a doctor’s appointment).  He began by sitting down and pulling his chair over and said that the decision was made to run the station with only two employees.  He was not one of the employees who would be remaining either.  This was devastating.  I went to keep my appointment and then stopped at the package store on the way home.  I sent e-mails to those I had obligations to that weekend (it was a Friday) to advise I would NOT be in any condition to honor those obligations that weekend.  I then proceeded to plunge into the bottles of tequila, rum and Kahlua I brought home with me.  I remained in a state of shock thinking it was just a dream.  Even after October 31st (the last day of work for all of us) came and went, I was numb with shock (no I did not finish all of the contents of my bottles that weekend, nor did I imbibe continuously).

I finally began looking at things with open eyes (after using my already soaked handkerchief to dry my eyes).  I knew that due to my health I would not be able to get another regular job until I could regain more of my stamina lost from my chronic illness.  I also watched the unemployment numbers soar both locally as well as nationally.  To say I was scared is an understatement.  I had already considered the possibility of my needing to do freelance writing as my physical condition worsened.  But I never anticipated being thrown into it.  I mustered every ounce of focus I could to put things together.  I began by making the decision to start my own business and become a freelance writer.  I then set about reading and studying and putting money into the things I would need to help me along the way.  I even went to a writer’s conference in New York City (Oy vey, what a trip).  Some writer friends shared links to sites where they bid for jobs.

I took an online career test to help me figure out my direction.  The test determined I should be a writer or work in a museum.  I thought, why not put them together and write about museums and historical events.  I laid it all out in my head and then on paper.  I knew the types of magazines and publications I could submit to.  I bought a small camera outfit to add photos to my work for better sales opportunities.  With the help of a friend (the best graphic designer any where.  Just check out my website and other blogs to see her work) I set up my website to begin “pimping” myself out.   I was going in the right direction.  Then I came to a screeching halt.  I realized that I didn’t have a clue about how to get to that place I wanted to be.  I attempted to ask those who have been in the business on a large scale for a long time and was pretty much shut out.  Two even said they would help me and make an appointment with me to just sit down and talk and then they avoided me like the plague.  I guess they saw that I have the talent and they felt I wanted to take over their jobs and clients.  Oh well.

As time has worn on in my endeavors I have grown more and more discouraged.  It doesn’t help when I see those I know with jobs and making an income complain how much they hate their jobs.  I would love to trade with them.  It seems that those who complain about their jobs get all kinds of sympathy from everyone else (I am speaking of status updates on various social networks).  However, when I have made comments voicing my frustration and discouragement from being unemployed and the lack of prospects, I get met with short, bitter statements like “move” or “get over it princess”.   Then there are those who pose questions and when I answer them in a realistic manner (not saying I am giving up totally) they make it sound like I am saying I am doomed and will find nothing.  It seems all of the advise and “encouragement” is coming from those who have at least one household income, their health and continual moral support and encouragement.

Doors get closed (some in your face).  Opportunities fizzle.  Unemployment funds run out.  Bank accounts dry up.  Desperation sets in.  Some folks turn to robbing and conning to get money to pay their bills and put food on the table.  Others take what little money they have and “invest” it in the lottery.  I have been tempted at both of these.  Especially seeing the billboard which brags that the Power Ball is up to $30 Million for the week.    The former, I blew off steam by IMing a friend that I am considering white-collar crime.  Then I can be sent to prison and have my needs taken care of and just spend my days writing.  I even jokingly posted a status update asking if someone could teach me how to get rid of my conscience so I could indulge in criminal behavior since it pays better than being out of work.  I can understand why people turn to this kind of behavior, but I don’t condone it.

The only thing worse than trying to find work during a recession would be to try to find work during a depression.  That is economical or emotional.  So what is one to do in this situation?  There are the optimists who would say to make some lemonade out of these lemons.  Then the pessimists who would tell us to just stay in bed it will never work out anyway.  Cynics?  nothing matters anyway, so why bother.  Nothing I have covered is news.  Well, perhaps you didn’t know about my weekend binge.  I am venting my own frustrations of not being able to get a viable job in the middle of a recession.  Yes, I said middle of.  I know the President and all his mouth pieces have said the recession is ending, but when you have no job and none in sight it is like trying to see the end of your car while driving in the middle of a fog in East Tennessee.  You can’t see that far.

Ratings Push Or Slap In the Face

Upon rising in the mornings I generally turn no the news (CBS), turn on my computer and then fetch the newspaper from the front deck.  After getting dressed and finding breakfast I retire to the couch to read the paper, watch the news and eat breakfast before I begin writing for the morning.  Yes, I am creature of habit, but then again, so are most people.  Last Friday, CBS Morning Show started a series called Dave Price, No Way Home.  I thought this would be in interesting stunt to boost ratings and could quite possibly produce some humor for me to begin my day with.

Apparently they were dropping Mr. Price off on the west coast and he was to make his way east and return home in a week.  He was only to have $50 and could not use any credit cards nor accept large gifts such as airline tickets home or hotel accommodations.  He was to “work” his way home.  When this began I thought it would be intriguing to see what kinds of odd jobs he would do to earn some cash and help him get back to NYC.  As of Tuesday morning all was going well and seemed to be educational as well.

This morning I turned the news on and as I ate breakfast I watched the next chapter in Mr. Price’s trek home.  However, the more the segments ran, the angrier I found myself.  Yes, it was fascinating that he spent the night in a frat house and earned $20 for cleaning the bathroom.  However, the job he is doing right now making $12 an hour made me sick.  I am one of thousands who lost my regular $10 an hour job when the recession was hitting a year ago.  I am still out of work and opting instead to be a freelance writer.  There are so many people who would have gone to companies such as Omaha Steaks (where Mr. Price is working this morning) and applied for jobs.   These people are turned down because of the lack of funding to be able to pay them.  In fact, many of them would probably be willing to work for minimum wage just to be able to have some kind of an income.

In an economic recession, I find it a slap in the face to the many unemployed folks like myself that CBS would televise how easy it is for one of their employees who already has a well paying job to be able to walk in and get a job in a company making an hourly wage that makes me and others like me drool with desire and longing to have any kind of a job.  What qualifies Mr. Price to work in a company such as Omaha Steaks besides his celebrity status and wanting to boost his networks ratings irregardless of what it might do to the mindset of those who would watch and thereby boost those ratings?

Irresponsibility in boosting ratings.  It is possible to help those who are unemployed due to the recession while boosting ratings and in fact, may boost those network ratings even more.  If Mr. Price must obtain jobs in nationally know companies or major organizations or any kind, then use it to benefit those who could use the boost to their economy.  If these places are willing to hire a man who has no qualifications, besides celebrity, for a few hours to get national recognition for their company, let them go a step further and use it to find qualified workers to hire on a permanent basis to further ensure the longevity of the company.

Take odd jobs if you will, like cleaning bathrooms in a frat house, but if you choose to work in a major company, help fill that kind of a job with someone who truly needs and deserves it.  As for Omaha Steaks, I have ordered from them in the past.  However, I am very reluctant to order from them unless they use this opportunity to help those who want and need jobs to obtain jobs in their company.  Being a celebrity making a great salary and then throwing it in the faces of those who helped make you a celebrity by frivolously getting jobs they would love to have just to work for an hour or two is, in my opinion, just plain wrong.