Ostriches In The Sand
Having an invisible illness gives a person a different view of the world. I struggle when I go anywhere and have no one to help me except the very small handful of compassionate people who may see me and come over to help if it isn’t out of their way. This morning I had to run a few errands. I went to the post office to check my mailbox and there were no kind folks around to hold the door as there usually are. This is not really a big issue. I returned to my car and drove down to the supermarket.
The supermarket can be a bit of a challenge as it is so big and I must make my way around, staggering with my cane and a buggy. Occasionally I am met with smiles and nods from the front end employees and then by other employees as I make my way around. Today, it was as if I was invisible. Not just invisible to employees, but to other customers as well. I couldn’t help but think as I was struggling in the dairy isle to get an item lower than what I could safely reach. I saw via peripheral vision a man walk past me as I struggled to keep my balance and remain standing. Clearly, he had to notice my difficulties, but kept on walking.
There were others as well that seemed to do this. It was as if they made eye contact they would be obliged to assist me and they were far too busy to show compassion or kindness to a fellow human being. I just couldn’t help but think about the myth of the ostrich burying his head in the sand. Pliny the Elder once wrote, “imagine, when they have thrust their head and neck into a bush, that the whole of their body is concealed.” This is to believe to be the source of the myth regarding the ostrich. Humans are a lot like this though. Not that by hiding their heads they believe their entire body is hidden, but if they cover their eyes, then the ugliness and ailments of their fellow human beings does not exist.
Too often, we cover our eyes or put on blinders to the outside world hoping that what is wrong with it will just go away and cease to exist. We hope that the poor soul struggling to keep herself on her feet to finish her shopping will just disappear because we are too busy and too important to stop for just 30 seconds to assist someone else. Or by putting a blindfold on the bruises and cuts on the child next door will fade and never return because we just can’t take a minute of our own time to at least look that child in the eye and show them that there is something other than the pain they feel. Our own lives and families are far more important than to get involved with the likes of that.
Sometimes just one moment is all it takes to show another human being the kindness and compassion we all deserve. After I left the supermarket and was driving home I continued to let this subject twirl in my mind. I knew I was already worn out and didn’t feel like preparing food upon arriving home. I stopped by my local Hardee’s (yes, the same one where I called the employees a bunch of plebeians) to pick up a burger, fries and a lemonade. It was 1040 and I knew they were already serving lunch. My order was taken at the drive-thru and I pulled up. There were two vehicles in front of me. The car ahead of me stopped briefly at the window and then pulled up to a space apparently to await a staff member bringing his food to him.
Being hearing impaired I watch the window till someone arrives. I saw two employees pointing at a monitor and eventually the young girl I saw there came to the window and asked if I was the one who ordered the two sausage biscuits. I said no and advised I ordered a burger. She apologized and left the window. Upon returning she opened the window and I could hear a female voice verbally assaulting her. She said it would be a few minutes and asked if I could pull up or she could just return my money. I asked how long and she went to check. She returned to tell me one minute and thirty seconds would be my wait. At that moment a very rude woman pushed into the window demanding to know what the problem was. The young girl told her I was waiting for my burger and trying to decide if I wanted my money back due to the wait. The other woman snapped at the girl and said my order was ready.
Due to the other woman’s behavior I was ready to just ask for my money back. When the girl returned with my food I asked who the woman was and was advised she was the General Manager of the store and the girl said she just got into trouble due to my order. I was not happy at this point and asked if that woman’s supervisor was around, however seeing she was the General Manager, she was the top of the food chain here. I told the girl that she was the only reason I was not asking for my money back. If it had just been for the other person, I would ask for my money in a heartbeat and leave. I further told this girl that she remained calm and reasonable even though it was apparent the manager was losing her self-control.
Normally I would praise someone like this in front of them to their supervisor. This time, I knew that was not an option. This manager seemed the type who would retaliate against the girl. As I praised her, I saw her demeanor change. She felt much better than when I first pulled up.
It only takes thirty seconds to make someone’s day. It takes just a short amount of time to help a person who needs it. Human compassion and kindness should be demonstrated, not only to those we know and feel have earned it, it is something that should be part of our daily lives toward strangers who may never cross our paths again. Burying your head in the sand or putting blinders on does not make life’s ugly struggles go away. Taking a few meager moments of your valuable time, however, can make it go away, or at the very least make things easier.
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