DeeEl's Mo Chroí Scríofa

Change Isn’t Always A Good Thing

You know you have gone off the deep end when you tell the employees at Hardee’s they are a bunch of plebeians.  You heard me right, I called them plebeians.  I went to the drive-thru before going west to check my mail and get a few parcels of groceries.  When I got to the window and received my bag, I checked it as I always do.  Biscuit with egg, cheese and tomato.  However, there were no napkins in the bag.  Usually they put ten napkins for each sandwich.  I waited for the girl to return to the window and asked for napkins and she replied, “We are all out of napkins.  They are being unloaded right now in the back.”  I looked at her in disbelief and handed the bag back to her and advised I could not eat that unless I had napkins.  She couldn’t seem to understand what napkins have to do with eating a greasy sandwich.  She snatched the bag wondering what to do and I asked if they were all plebeians and do not use napkins to wipe their hands and mouth when eating.  She took my bag and gave it to someone to return my money.  That person returned my bag with some paper-towels.  While I waited, I noticed the tables by the window just ahead of me had full napkin dispensers.  This roused me even more.  Why tell me they are completely out of napkins, when in fact they are not?  How much trouble is it to go into a virtually empty dinning area and taking some of the napkins for use in another area until supplies are unpacked?

I know you are wondering what this little tale has to do with the title of this post.  A lot.  Back in my grandmother’s day it was called “the change”.  The more accurate name is menopause.  A number of years ago, my best friend, Sissy (rest her soul) went through the change.  No one could live with her.  Her husband, daughter and even I avoided her most of the time.  Her mood swings were so bad that one time she even bragged to me about calling the secretary of her church a B****.  Sissy, like me,  never cussed.   This was strange for me to comprehend.  Those close to her finally figured out what was going on with her.  While we still avoided her a good deal, we tried to be more understanding.  This prompted me to have a bit of a conversation with my aunt.  I asked her (I am very naive) if she had been through the change yet.  After she stopped laughing she affirmed that she had.  I told her about Sissy and inquired as to the symptoms my aunt had.  She said all she had was hot flashes.

About a year or so ago I began noticing definite changes in my menses.  In the last few months I have noticed my demeanor changing.  I get upset and even angry faster.  I am still good at holding my tongue, excepting this morning.  I keep everything inside and don’t tell people what I truly feel.  I figured this change was due to Meniere’s and the way it has been treating me of late.  I also attributed my change to loneliness as I do not have interactions with people on a regular basis.  This mornings display gave me pause and I took the drive out west to try to consider what was going on with me.  Hot flashes and night sweats have been with me intermittently for a while now.

I once had someone describe menopause to me as one minute you have your head in the freezer and the next in the oven.  I thought she was joking.   Women are just now being overtly educated regarding this change.  When I was growing up it was still a bit of a taboo subject that everyone knew about, but did not speak of, especially in polite company.  Now it is all over the television, radio, movies and print media.  There are pills you can take to supposedly help lessen the severity of the symptoms of menopause.  More drugs.  Seems there is a pill for just about everything these days.  I am, as my GYN says, pre-menopausal.  I suppose things will get worse as I continue into the change.  Until I am safely on the other side of this, I will do all within my power to continue to hold my tongue and keep a fan nearby.  However, if, on the rare occasion, I slip and call you a plebeian, please try to be understanding and know that it is not how I honestly feel.  It will be the hormones going crazy within.