DeeEl's Mo Chroí Scríofa

Commander?

On January 20, 2009, history was made as the first bi-racial man was inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States of America.  Having a white mother and a black father, Mr. Obama considers himself black.  There is nothing wrong with this.  He is a man of confidence, believing in himself he presents as a strong personality with character and ability.  Many love him for the fact that he is black and made history being elected president.  Many also, despise him for the same reasons.

Having now been in office for 13 months it appears Mr. Obama’s approval ratings have been waning.  I have not conducted any scientific polls, nor have I spent an exuberant amount of time researching polls that have been conducted.  However, I can speculate as to the reasons.  All I really know is my own thoughts and feelings regarding the Commander-In-Chief.

I saw some of the interview that was done on CBS This Morning with Mrs. Obama.  If she was in earnest with her answers to the personal questions posed, then it would seen that Mr. Obama is trying to keep his personal family life real and intact.  This is admirable and should be applauded instead of  disparaged.  I send many kudos to anyone who can work in a public office and maintain as close to normal a family life as is possible for the situation.  Well done.

Personally, I watched eagerly from the first moment during the election as Mr. Obama began to push forth his on-going plea for health care reform (this started for him long before he began his run for the presidency).   Having a chronic illness, I know the cost of health insurance and how rates go up because you have to visit the doctor more than you used to.  Then I lost my job in October 2008 and learned the hard way the feeling of being turned down for insurance due to a chronic illness and finding prices so outrageous I couldn’t have afforded them with a good income, much less unemployment income.  As time went on I continued to watch.  I did not give in to the hype being lodged against the president by members of congress and senate.  I listened to Mr. Obama’s words.  It was his own words while addressing the Senate in September that turned my thoughts against the health care reform.  You can read my thoughts about that in a previous post.

Another issue that I believe has gone against Mr. Obama is his winning of the Nobel Peace Prize in December 2009.  Less then one year in office and he won the Nobel Peace Prize.  I wondered what he did to EARN it other than the fact that he has black skin and was elected as President of the US.  In his speech he acknowledged the fact that he had not fully earned the honor (indicating he feels he has begun to earn it) but in the same respect he did nothing to turn it down and have it given to someone who has truly earned it.

So what kind of a Commander-In-Chief is President Obama?  He can make speeches that are pretty and well written (credit goes to his speech writers).   He accepted a Nobel Peace prize he did not earn.  He has given indication he wants to bring our troops home (can’t do this completely as we have too many military facilities around the world in countries we have no business being in).  He wants to close Guantanamo Bay installations.  It seems however, he has one main focus for his time in office ~  health care reform bill.  He wants it the way he wants it and doesn’t care about how it will have an ill effect on the the majority of the United States.  This makes me wonder what his real agenda is.  Who will really benefit from this bill as he wants it passed?  My money is on the rich healthy people.  The Commander-In-Chief should have more on his mind for this country than one bill which is not a benefit to the country as a whole.  Perhaps if he broadens his vision his approval rating will rise again and not just because of the color of his skin, but because he is really making a difference.

Loneliness Can Kill

The other day I published a post called Regrets.  I was hurting and didn’t know where to go or what to do.   I was making plans though.  I knew who would get what and made a list of letters to write to try to provide understanding.  Believing I cause only pain and suffering to all those I touch, I isolated myself more from those I care about in an attempt to shield them from me.

My background in psychology gave me the insight to see what was going on, however, I still felt powerless to the forces within.  A few of my on-line friends cornered me in an attempt to learn what was going on.  I talked a bit.  Then the next day still feeling very overwhelmed I was cornered by another on-line friend who isn’t as close to my inner-circle, and using MSN voice chat she read me the riot act and we talked more candidly.  I cried so much there wasn’t one dry spot on my handkerchief.  I told her that I believed the real issue to be my 16 month unemployment and diminished bank account compounded by a chronic illness.

After my four hour conversation with this person I ended up in a chat with one from my inner-circle.  Mostly superficial on my part, but I told her that I promised not to even talk about booking a one-way flight to Iraq for myself.  I then received an e-mail from a new friend that an old friend has been trying to introduce me to for nearly a year.  I set it up and we began to chat in MSN and the mutual friend began IMing me in YIM at the same time my cousin IMd me in Skype.  I was too focused on keeping my conversations straight to even acknowledge the overwhelming feelings within.

I spent a couple hours with a handful of my inner-circle last night in Second Life.  I stayed up a wee past my bedtime last night pondering things and for the first time in days I didn’t cry myself to sleep.  I am still unemployed.  My bank account is still empty.  I still have a chronic illness and I am still alone.  I woke up this morning considering everything.  I remember the other day feeling so bad I went on line and typed something (I can’t recall now what I typed) into a Google search.  The result was a website linked to the suicide hot-line.  I sat there and looked at the site and scrolled through.  It kept saying that if you were in immanent danger to call the number.  Being too cowardice I knew I wasn’t in that kind of danger and there are others more in need so I just looked at the screen.  Finally, I closed the browser and played backgammon against my computer.

I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve and don’t go around telling everyone how sad I am.  This post and the last are exceedingly difficult.  However, I feel it needs to be said as I am sure there are others out there like me who may need encouragement or just validation that they are not alone.  What occurred to me this morning was how wrong I was in what I deduced yesterday.  The things that I thought were causing my issues were the aggravaters.   My real problem is loneliness.  It has been weeks since I have felt the human touch.  No hugs, no kisses, not even a handshake or the unintentional brushing up against someone not watching where they are walking in the market.  There is no one here for me to talk to when I am having a bad day or get stressed out because my balance is off.

Yes, there are those that would say right now, “Well, you could call me”.  I have called people or IMd them on-line with the intent of talking to them but I end up sitting and listening to them go on about their issues or they give me the feeling that they are too busy to take time for me.  I oblige and listen or let them go so they could continue with what they were doing.  Then I go off by myself.

The suicide rate increases during the winter months.  Holiday time it is the absence of loved ones who have passed away.  The cold weather sends us indoors where we are locked away from the rest of the world and when you live alone, that can be devastating.  It is this separation from other people that can drive someone, even someone with intelligence and education, to consider ridding the world of their life.

I have not just been considering my own situation, I have been trying to see the other side as well.  I am an isolationist, I try to cope by shutting myself off from everyone as I feel they do not need to be bothered with my issues.  I know this is wrong, but it is all I know.  So what should the ones who care about you do?  How can they know when you aren’t one to broadcast (how I envy those people who can make things known)?  A lot of times people get so busy with their own lives and their inner-circle that they forget about others they know who may be lonely.  Those who know me, know I am unemployed and that I have a chronic illness that prevents me from doing a lot of things.  There are times that I would love to take a walk in the park and make mention of it, but there is no one there to go with me, so I can’t go.

If you know someone who is pretty much cut off, then give them a call or drop them an e-mail.  Stop by and not just because you are in the neighborhood.  It will make a big impact if you go out of your way because you want to see them.  Let them know you want to spend time with them just talking, not about their situation, but as a friend the way you have done many times in the past.  Offer to go for a walk with them.  Just reach out and touch someone don’t just think about them and later when you happen to see them or talk to them tell them you think about them and pray for them all the time.   Those are nice words, but they don’t help to heal the real problem ~ Loneliness.  You don’t need to ask them what you can do for them, they probably won’t tell you.   But just be a friend and give them the one thing they crave more than anything in the world, your time and you.

Nodar Kumaritashvili ~ Georgia

Yesterday, I was in Second Life hosting a Celtic gig at my pub when the corner of my eye caught sight of the news.  The report was telling of a fatality which had occurred during a practice for the luge in the Winter Olympics being held in Vancouver.  I quickly turned on the volume of my television to listen and advised everyone of the accident.  I did not catch which country the man was from but noted there had already been a dozen accidents, but this was the first fatality.  In fact, Nodar Kumaritshvili’s death marks the first fatality in the winter games since 1992 and the first fatality in the luge during the winter games since 1964.  One of the patrons in the pub told me that the man was from Georgia.  I just watched in wonder as the reporter completed his story.

I was already planning to watch the opening ceremonies as they are my favorite part (I will write about the reason for that later).  The chatter with the reporters covering the games was whether or not the Georgian’s would remain for the games and if so, would they even participate in the ceremonies hours following the death of their teammate.  I forced myself to stay up waiting and watching.  It was mesmerizing watching the Georgian athletes walk into the arena and being greeted with a standing ovation.  Each of the delegation wore a black armband and there was a single black ribbon attached to their flag.  I sat wiping the tears from my eyes as I looked at each of the Georgian’s displayed on the screen.  I re-watched that segment today as I had taped the ceremonies to watch in their entirety.  Again I was struck by the entire situation and the words which had been brewing in my mind began to spill out.  Here, I place the verse in memory of Mr. Kumaritshvili and to honor his family, friends and teammates.

Georgia

Stepping through the arch
Somber, still, brave
Your flag, it is draped
With a lone ebon tie
The thin veil of hope on your face
Does very little to hide the
Deep pain bleeding within
There were those who wondered
Would you stay?  Or would you go?
Many, they did doubt
This festive walk you would take
When your journey began
Your number, it was nine
Then fate stepped in on
A wretched, deadly curve
Now, with one slipped away
He continues on,
a different journey he must take
You, now face the world
His name to make known
When you fly, when you glide
His memory will go with you
You were, after all,
One solid crew
Never destroyed, ever renewed
You are Georgian through and through.

February 13, 2010
© DL Bach

We Are The World Misses It ~~ By A World

When “We Are The World” first came out in March 1985, I remember thinking that it was nice of them to put this together to raise money for African  Famine Relief.  Now twenty-five years later they have remade the song to benefit the earthquake stricken Haiti.  I still think it is a nice song and it is also nice to consider raising money to help others.  However, I do believe that they are missing the big picture and missed it 25 years ago as well.

I was watching the news when they aired a piece about the remake of Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie’s infamous song.  It struck me as odd when they began mentioning the people who would be  participating in this recording.  I went on a mission to learn more and found pretty much the same people had been involved in the original recording.  This group is made up mostly of North American musicians, singers and actors; a handful of English performers and a sprinkling of Latin artists.  I can understand these people wanting to be involved to lay claim that it is Michael Jackson’s project and is a good will song.  What I can’t understand is how they can, in good conscience, perform a song which talks about bringing the world together and not include the rest of the world.

Where are the Haitian’s, Russian’s, Romanian’s, Iraqi’s?  Why are the German’s, Afghan’s, Chinese not involved?  How can you have a song about the people of the world being one and not include a group from all nations of the world?  I haven’t figured out why they allotted a month to complete the original project (which they barely made the deadline for) and this time far less time adding even more undue pressure.

For those who are doing this project and want to do it properly I suggest you step back and add more time to your self-imposed deadline.  Get a clue by actually reading and comprehending the lyrics you are performing.  Get a nice sized grouping of entertainers in ALL nations of the world.  Let them perform the song not only in English, but their native tongue as well.  Taking the time to do this right and being ALL inclusive will provide a much more accurate fulfillment of the words being sung.

If it is FOR the world and ABOUT the world, then it should be delivered BY the world

Health Care Bill = Health Crisis

Terri Carlson wants her 15 minutes of fame and she wants publicity.  Well, I give her publicity here and on Twitter.  Just not the kind she wants.  She lives in California and has been setting up YouTube videos to find herself a husband.  Some may think this a novel idea.  She doesn’t want a husband to love, nor does she want his money.  Ms. Carlson is looking for a man to marry her and add her to his insurance.  She completed a segment on the CBS Morning Show this morning again, begging for a husband.  She did not say what her medical condition is, but on her YouTube this morning before taking her flight she showed she was taking her medical test results with her as proof that the is ill.  She is averring that she, a professed Republican, should be the poster child for President Obama’s health care reform bill.  She has a job working for a disabilities group, but they do not offer health insurance.  She has been buying Cobra Insurance (which everyone will attest to is very expensive), but it runs out in a year.  She feels she must marry someone within a year and be added to his insurance in order to maintain her health care.

Ms. Carlson wants to see the entire bill go through so she will not be denied health care.  I sent her a note via her website.  I spelled out how she is wrong.  This is a selfish act on her part.  I believe that she is aware of this.  She keeps stating this is all fer HER to be able to get benefits.  She does not have other people in mind as she sets out on her talk show arena.  I have blogged in the past about this health care reform bill.  I have read more of it than the politicians we are relying on to vote on our behalf.  The only good thing in the bill as it is written is the section that will make it illegal for insurance companies to deny someone benefits due to a pre-existing condition.  However, Ms. Carlson does not take into consideration that this bill will force everyone to buy insurance even if they cannot afford it.  Yes, there will be some allowance, but they are not very good ones.

In order for this to work, the government needs to revamp many areas, including the Americans with Disabilities Act.  President Obama has had one goal since running for office ~ Health Care Reform.  I watched him and listened to him as I was in favor of this myself.  I did not give into the belief that his reform would bring about euthanasia.  I did not listen to anyone but Mr. Obama.  Unfortunately, it was his words during his address to the Senate in September that turned me against his bill.  He is in a hurry to get this through in order to help a few people he has been trying to help since he first went into politics.  However, he too has missed the big picture, the helping of ALL Americans.  Until all Americans, or at least the largest population of Americans can benefit, this bill needs to be rewritten.  Doctors can increase their costs for people without insurance while charging insurance companies the minimal.  Alcoholics can get disability when alcoholism is their only disability, but people with heart disease and Meniere’s Disease cannot.  This is not a perfect country and the government only wants to put a coat of paint on a decaying wall.